Saturday, August 6, 2011

it is no longer i who live

So this summer I've been working at a Christian summer camp in Texas as a wrangler (as in, with horses). And let me just say, it has been a challenge. I had little to no previous experience with horses aside from the fact that I was afraid of them. But, thankfully, the Lord helped me overcome the fear and that really hasn't been a worry since day 1. Something that's been a huge challenge though is the amount of work we do and allowing myself to get weighed down by exhaustion. To be quite honest, I've never worked this hard in my life (I'm talking 4:30 a.m.s all week, 17 hour days of working working working on7 hours of sleep, for 6 weeks straight). Legitimately, have never worked this hard in my life. But oh heavens has it been an incredible experience! God's been bringing to my thoughts a lot about how easy it is to slip back into being selfish when you're tired and hurting and irritable. I've been trying to pin down exactly how to describe this lesson that He's been teaching me, but nothing quite gets it right. So I've been at a loss for words on the matter for the past 5 weeks until the other morning at a staff Bible study when one of our leaders read from Galatians 2. It said simply this:

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me."

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. I'm not living my life anymore, I'm living for Him. My purpose is to glorify him and enjoy him forever. I no longer live. This concept is one of those things that, for me, when I heard it, it just blew my mind. It was spot on with what I had been learning and trying to grasp. All that I'm doing, all that I work for, all that I sweat for day in and day out is for Him. Because He lives in me. I am merely a vessel for him to carry out his will, his good, pleasing and perfect will.

It's lessons like this that really make me love camp.

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