Setting Goals

I hope this post gives you a little peek into my life as of right now. Currently, I'm on break from the summer camp where I'll be working until July. The campers will show up on Sunday and I can't wait! I've been looking forward to this for the entirety of the spring semester and it's finally HERE. As for the future, I haven't mentioned this yet, but I'll be going abroad in the Fall. To Italy. I know, I'm sure you're thinking "there's no better place to go than Italy!" and I wholeheartedly agree. I am getting so excited, but at the same time, trying so desperately to not wish away what's going on in my life right now. But because I'm going in the fall, I'm having to do a lot of tedious preparations and paperwork during my breaks from camp, which is not the ideal way to spend your 24 hours off. However, God gave me a sweet blessing today. As I've spent a fair amount of my past 2 weeks stressing over getting all of my abroad registration and visa preparation done, I've forgotten what it is that I'm preparing for. Italy. Beautiful, wonderful, dream-filled Italy. Italy is 100% worth every stressful phone call, every frustrating e-mail, every time I find out I have to fill out another form. SO worth it. I was reminded of this beautiful goal today when my sister, who is currently on her way back to the States from studying in Paris for the Spring posted a couple final inspiring thoughts on the blog she's been keeping. And it got me so excited. It's started me thinking of the beauty of Europe, the excitement, and I'm positively giddy right now. I have no doubt that I'll dream of Italy tonight. Additionally, several forms and processes that have been giving me seemingly insurmountable troubles the past couple of weeks finally fell into place today. There were about four things I had to upload to my study abroad account that were highly problematic and blessing upon blessing, I got all four of them uploaded this afternoon. I feel like I conquered Everest.

But to get to the point of setting goals, this has been something God has been teaching me a lot lately. Most recently, today when I recognized the beauty of what all of this work was going towards. In another situation, this past Spring semester, God blessed me with a great great friend. She and I got in this habit for the second half of the semester of setting goals with each other every Sunday at lunch after church. We would set a physical goal, an academic goal, a spiritual goal, and a random goal and the next week we would follow up and see how we did. It amazed me how much growth happened when I had someone who knew what I wanted to get out of my week and would ask me about it. It was incredible. And as for my life right now, I'm setting another goal - scripture memory. I've always known the value of God's word hidden in your heart, but I've never pursued it like I wish I would. At orientation, one of our directors mentioned memorizing the book of Colossians one summer when he worked at camp and I decided I'd like to do the same. After talking with one of my good friends here at camp, we decided that we wanted to try and memorize the book of James together. I am so pumped. Since camp starts on Sunday, so does the verse memorization! I'm hoping by putting that in this post, I'll feel responsible to memorize it and unable to back down from the challenge, a sort of 21st century accountability.

So, here's to remembering what we're working towards.

Undeniable Incandescence

Everybody has something they can't resist. Some quality that will always draw you to another person, like joy, or selflessness, or something of that type. But then, I've noticed, there are some people who you are drawn to inexplicably. And just to clarify, I don't mean this strictly in a romantic sense, but more generally in just the sense of liking who a person is. For instance, one of the girls I worked with at camp last summer was just wonderful. She was so alive. She just had that quality that made you want to spend time with her. In the past few months I've been lucky enough to encounter a few more choice people of this type, and what a blessing it has been. What a blessing just to spend time with them. I suppose it boils down to the fact that these people are  simply incandescent and I'm just a moth to the flame.

Le Piccole Cose

Currently, I'm in my second semester of Italian classes and I'm loving every minute of it. The language is so beautiful to speak, so lovely to learn, and just so darn delectable. It's the class that gives me my pick-me-up in the middle of a very, very long day. This is something I've been learning a bit lately, how much these little things, le piccole cose, can really sweeten the day. 

One of my specific little things came just today. I don't remember if I've mentioned this before, but I love coffee. Like at least two cups a day love. Aaaaand today, I got something that makes my coffee even better: a milk frother. Can I just say, OH. MY. GAWSH. Coffee with foamy milk is soooooo much better than just coffee with milk. SO much better. This, was my little pick me up today, and probably will be many times again.

However, the reason I'm writing is not to tell you all about frothy coffee. Rather, there has been something else that has been added to my daily routine that has been a consistent life-sweetener. My Bible study has started one of Beth Moore's studies, something that I've never done before. It's wonderful. If you've never done a Beth Moore study, I strongly encourage you to do one. What's been the best thing about it for me is that it has you reading scripture and a sort of mini-Bible-study every day, keeping you consistently involved. On top of this, I'm attempting the read-the-Bible-in-a-year resolution. All of this quite simply has lead to better days. I've never been consistent in my time in the word, and this is making it happen. But now, it's happening, and it's wonderful. Simply wonderful.

Le piccole cose nella vita possono fare la differenza.

Valuable

Sophomore year so far has been a world of difference compared to freshman year. I thought I knew my University and was involved, etc, but ohhhhh boy, no I wasn't. Last year I was having the appetizer, this year I'm having the all you can eat buffet. And I love it. Granted, yes, every day is packed full, but it's packed full of wonderful. This year has made me realize the value being involved has. This year, I've gotten involved in things that I wasn't in last year, taken advantage of opportunities offered by the university, and am even helping establish a new club on campus. All this had made apparent to me the value of taking ownership of your campus. I feel like I have a claim to stuff here, now. I'm not just an observer, I'm a participator, an initiator.

Aside from all this though, I want to focus on the one thing that God has pressed this year as the most valuable thing: the thing  I need most desperately in my life right now. Community. And what incredible community it is. My church has started a life group (like a Sunday school class....but not on Sundays) on campus. Talk about incredible. Not only do I get to hang out and talk about the word with kids I go to school with, but guess who leads it?! One of my friends who works in the church office and the teaching pastor! How valuable is that? We actually get to talk about the sermon with the guy who gave the sermon. If there's anybody you want to discuss scripture with, it's him. There's a reason he's the teaching pastor: he has such wisdom. Such wonderful wisdom. It's the coolest thing, to hear the sermon, dwell on it for a few days then get to commune with peers and discuss it, while getting input from the guy who preached the sermon itself. It's like discussing a John Piper book, with your best friends....and John Piper.

On top of that, the campus ministry I attend encourages upperclassmen (non-freshmen) to get involved in a Depth Group. In this case, it's a small group of 4 or so (in my case) girls who meet weekly with a woman who is a member of the church with which the ministry is affiliated. Now the thing  I really love about this is that when we sign up to be in a Depth Group, we are committing to it for the rest of our college career. AKA, I'll be studying the word and spending time with these girls every week for the next 2 1/2 years. Talk about valuable! It's so much more intensive and ensuring to know that we're in it for the long haul, together. I had a great Bible study for 6 years back home, but it wasn't one like this, where we each as individuals were committing to sticking with it for x amount of years. Knowing that the four of us are committed to making our time together a priority for the next 2 1/2 years really changes the dynamic. You're no longer opening your heart to people who might be here then gone, but to people who care about you and who want to walk with you for a decent chunk of time. It's great. It's just great.

All of this to say, I can't deny the obviousness of the value of community. People are what make your life: not accomplishments, not degrees, but people.

Getting an A on a paper a couple days ago didn't make my week.
Getting invited over to have coffee and cinnamon rolls and fellowship on a Saturday morning did.

Farewell Summer

This summer, I worked at a Christian camp in Texas and LOVED every stinkin' minute of it, but boy was it hot. I'm almost certain there wasn't a single day that we didn't hit 100 degrees, and we often rose above it. I remember one day being told that the temperature was a balmy 113 degrees. As you can bet, Texas heat is one of the things that drove me north(ish) for college. I wanted a place with seasons: where the leaves turned when they were supposed to and there was actual snow in the winter. It suffices to say, I'm getting what  I asked for. Fall is really setting in here in Carolina. Today the high was 58 degrees and when I walked out to the car to go to church this morning it was in the 40s. THE 40S. Granted, it's going to warm up a bit (low 70s) for the next couple of weeks, but even still, it is SO nice. I actually turned on the heat in my car tonight as  I was driving around. And on top of that I wished I had a pair of gloves. I know, I know, Bonnie, what are you thinking, it's only October 2nd. But if you can walk around in 50 degree weather and not have your fingers get all numb, then I will try it too. I also had my first cup of apple cider today (yay!). Point being, I couldn't be happier right now. This wonderful changing of seasons makes up for the massive amount of work I have been assigned for the next two weeks. If I'm going to spend all day, every day working and studying, at least I can do it on a campus who's leaves are starting to turn and who's air has the crisp snap of fall.

In short, I just want to say: Autumn, this Texan is welcoming you with open arms.

Pizza Pizza

So, praise the Lord, I am living in an apartment this year! It's on campus, so it's still relatively close to everything, but has all the perks of apartment-style living. I've found I have WAY more storage space here than I did in my dorm, and can actually live practically, instead of tip toeing around drawers of sweaters and sitting at my desk with my knees up to my chin. It's lovely. Alsooo, I have the blessing of a living room, couch, chairs, kitchen table and all! It's just nice to have more than one room, like the dorm living was. Something else we have that I realize I really used to take advantage of is windows! Last year we had one measly little window, and it looked out onto a steeply rising slope of ivy to the barely-visible sidewalk above (it's sufficient to say, not exactly a spectacular view). But this year, we have 7, count 'em SEVEN, windows, three of which are in my bedroom alone! It's SO wonderful, I can see everything and I love it!

Now, getting to the point of this post, we also have a full kitchen (refrigerator, microwave, stove, oven, sink, cabinets, etc). So, naturally, I'm all over making new foods. I've been following one food blog in particular: How Sweet It Is. This girl has sooo many good recipes and stories to go with them too! Sadly, I have to practice a whole lot of self restraint, otherwise we'd always have two batches of cookies and a cake in the apartment. However, recently she posted a recipe for her Greek pizza and it sounded soooooo good. Like mouthwatering-ly good. So, I decided to try it, but i tweaked some (several) things. (However, let it stand that her post was the inspiration for me to make pizza at all!) So...I bought a ball of pizza dough from the local grocery store, sadly, I don't have the time of the resources to go about making my own dough like that lucky lady. And in the end, I resolved to top my pizza with marinara, fetta, garlic (chunks) and green onions.

MAN was it good. Even when it was in the oven the whole apartment smelled like heaven, drenched in joy, sprinkled with delight, with a hunk of happiness on top. No exaggeration. I even re-heated some of the leftovers for dinner tonight and it was still just as good. (ok, well the crust wasn't crunchy anymore, but what the hey?!) Needless to say, this has sparked an addiction. I am now scouring her blog for new recipes to tweak and try. So, yes, this blog might become a bit of a foodie blog, but that's just part of my life. 

One more thing I wanted to mention. My dad always jokes that it's my mom who should help me move into my dorm, my first apartment, my first house, etc because we need to nest. And as stupid as it sounds and as much as I want to deny it, it's 100% true. Mom did help me move in and she did help me nest, but for some reason, this past week has brought on a whole other week of nesting. Out of the blue. I bough some flowers for the kitchen table and just loved the way they looked, so I went out and bought some more for the kitchen. Then I passed by the Yankee Candle Co. section in Bed, Bath, and Beyond (let's all admit it right now, those candles are ADDICTING) and snatched up a couple with two simple little glass votives. Those are now next to the sink and just seeing them makes me happy. Sadly though, all these things are just temporary. (I know, why such a debbie-downer?) BUT I read a quote the other day by C.S. Lewis that said (in a very loose paraphrase) "When I have desires that this world cannot fulfill, I can come to no other conclusion than that we were not made for this world." So it's a bit of a happy pondering: no matter how much I nest, or how many times, or how much I get torn between college-home and home-home, none of this is my true home. Our home is waiting for us, in a perfect place, and it will have all the candles and flowers we can dream of. 

it is no longer i who live

So this summer I've been working at a Christian summer camp in Texas as a wrangler (as in, with horses). And let me just say, it has been a challenge. I had little to no previous experience with horses aside from the fact that I was afraid of them. But, thankfully, the Lord helped me overcome the fear and that really hasn't been a worry since day 1. Something that's been a huge challenge though is the amount of work we do and allowing myself to get weighed down by exhaustion. To be quite honest, I've never worked this hard in my life (I'm talking 4:30 a.m.s all week, 17 hour days of working working working on7 hours of sleep, for 6 weeks straight). Legitimately, have never worked this hard in my life. But oh heavens has it been an incredible experience! God's been bringing to my thoughts a lot about how easy it is to slip back into being selfish when you're tired and hurting and irritable. I've been trying to pin down exactly how to describe this lesson that He's been teaching me, but nothing quite gets it right. So I've been at a loss for words on the matter for the past 5 weeks until the other morning at a staff Bible study when one of our leaders read from Galatians 2. It said simply this:

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me."

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. I'm not living my life anymore, I'm living for Him. My purpose is to glorify him and enjoy him forever. I no longer live. This concept is one of those things that, for me, when I heard it, it just blew my mind. It was spot on with what I had been learning and trying to grasp. All that I'm doing, all that I work for, all that I sweat for day in and day out is for Him. Because He lives in me. I am merely a vessel for him to carry out his will, his good, pleasing and perfect will.

It's lessons like this that really make me love camp.